The Poopy Diaries....

Warning: content below is graphic. But mommy decided to blog this to share the joy of two-year old drama.

 

6:47 a.m. Max wakes up. He is lightly crying, but stops so I let him sit in his room for a bit while I wake up and get myself up...I enter his room around 7:08 a.m. As I open the door I am literally smacked in the face with the smell of poop and a child that says "Hi Mommy....I poo poo. I poo poo here, Mommy". Meanwhile, he lifts his hands up with chunks of poop in it - smiling like it is Christmas! 

 

He then proceeds to take his hands and (yes, I'm going to say it).....paint his entire crib with poo!!!!!!!!  I am yelling no max, no...stop....that's icky. And, he is smiling and having a great time. I take a deep breath and am trying to decide what to do to minimize the damage. So, I go to pick him up and he is literally covered....it's in his hair, completely soaked through his pajamas, chunks of corn and only God knows what else is all over his sheets, the wall, the crib.....it's everywhere. AND now, it is on me since I have picked him up.

 

Jake walks upstairs and he is like "what is going on" because now max is crying and I'm quazi gagging as I am trying to clean up Max. After I clean up the chunks off Max and put him in a new diaper, I give him to Jake and he clearly needs a bath. So I turn around and begin cleaning the loose stool that is all over the room because I don't want Bear eating it or something.....assuming that Jake has taken Max to our room to bathe him. Suddenly, I hear Max's sweet voice "Go Po Go"....and I knew exactly what that meant. Jake has put my poopy, stinky child in OUR BED and they were watching Kung Fu Panda....ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I was like....Jake, he needs a bath and now there is poo residue all over our bed. So I put Max in the tub and he looked at me and said "Whaaaa happen mommy?"  Yea, my thoughts exactly buddy!

 

Needless to say, I spent an hour and a half cleaning between every bar on his crib, sanitizing his entire room, changing sheets, changing and bathing him....showering myself (again), washing our sheets, took our comforter to the dry cleaners....sooooooooooooooooooooooo nasty! 

 

It was honestly comical.....

 

The moral of the story is:

1. Husbands don't understand that poop on your child clearly means a bath is in order.

2. Kung Fu Panda solves all problems.

3. Poo is nasty.

 

All in all, my day has been good even though it started out as it did. When I dropped Max off at school he said "I lub bu mommy"....(his version of I love you) and honestly, how could my day be bad after that?

 

The End.