So JOYFUL!

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with J.O.Y. today!  Literally, to the point that I got a little choked up and had to get on my knees and thank the Lord....ever have one of those moments? 

See....one of my very best friends from the 3rd grade, Mrs. Carla Jean Sak, is having her baby today or tomorrow (being induced tonight if baby doesn't decide to come earlier).  It is almost one year from when I was driving to the hospital to have Max.  That feeling I had when the doctor checked me and said "okay, let's have a baby today" of being nervous, happy, scared, excited, shocked, numb (literally, LOL), confused....it is overwheling me today as if it were happening to me again! 

I wish Carla and her hubby Adrian so much happiness.  Max has brought Jake and I so much JOY....he is the second LOVE of my life.  He has made our FAITH in God so much stronger.  He has shown me PATIENCE in times when I needed it.  He has made me LAUGH when he doesn't even know what he is doing.  He has taught me so much....and we are just beginning....

"You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me!  I sing for joy becuase of what you have done!" - Psalm 9:4. 

Carla, I'm sending you all my strength, love, hugs and kisses to sweet baby Sak.  May you and Adrain hold onto each other so tight during this parenting ride.  You will be amazing parents, and I know that this child of yours will be so loved.  I love you, friend of mine.

....4 days later

Afer Max was diagnosed with strep....I finally got to see that smiling, happy, lovely little face that I love so much after 4 V.E.R.Y. stressful and fussy days! 

I love his little laugh and smile, and I missed it <3

What I Thought was Teething....

...ended up being STREP THROAT! 

The day started and I knew that Max wasn't feeling great, but I chalked his small tempature up to teething because his mood was still fairly happy, his appetite was in tact and he was playing.  At 2 p.m. I got a call from daycare to come pick him up because his temperature was 102.4. 

I took him to the pediatrician just in case.....figuring we would get the diagnosis of a little cold. Boy, was I mistaken and I felt terrible!  A call to the daycare and church nursery to tell other parents, antibiotic pick up, and then it was home to get my little man back to feeling better. 

Day one (Tuesday)....all Max wanted to do was snuggle and lay with me.  While I hated that he wasn't feeling good - it was so nice to snuggle (guilty confession) for hours with him.  I noticed that after dinner, he was getting warmer and warmer....his temperature at this point spiked to 104.9.  I was assured by the nurse line at his pediatrician's office that he didn't need to be taken somewhere and just to monitor him and make sure he would react to me if I woke him every few hours. 

Day two (Wednesday).....lathargic in the morning, inconsolable in the afternoon/evening.  Long day....

Hoping that Maxers feels better tomorrow.  Two things I learned about myself:
1. I would do anything to take away his pain and discomfort.
2. I am a germ-a-phobe.  Once I put Max down on Tuesday night, everything (including toys, door knobs and more) was cleaned, sterilized and sterilized again. 

Max's Baby Dedication

What a Special Day! 

Sunday, May 15th was Max's Baby Dedication at Watermarke Church.  "Baby D" was an opportunity for us to focus on what will affect Max's future the most.  No one will have more influence on Max than Jake and I!  Baby D was an opportunity for Jake and I to take some time as parents to really think about what matters the most in the life of Max; to really talk together and decide what we value and what we can do today that will have the greatest impact on Max's future.

Needless to say, it was a joyous day!  We got to the church for the 3 p.m. ceremony where there was some great music, awesome church messages, prayers from our families, time for us to share our "values" and "habits" as a family to raise Max in a Christ-centered home, pictures and cupcakes....of course :-). 

It was also a little emotional because the whole focus of the day was on Max and truly how our parenting will impact his every step.  I couldn't help but feel a little overwhelmed because being a parent is a tough, never-ending and life-altering job/gift.  My words, my actions, my reactions....all affect Max and his future.  I pray everyday that I will be the best mom for him. 

Enjoy the pictures from our day <3

While Mom is Away....

...Mom cries.

I am feeling extreme "mommy guilt" for leaving Max this week.  I always worry.  I am constantly thinking:

• Will he remember me?
• Does he miss me?
• Is he cold at night?
• Are his teeth bothering him?
• Is he saying "ma ma ma" to someone else?
• Is he getting loved on enough?
• Is he giving Max kisses to someone else like he does to me?
• Did he take his first step?
• What if he wakes at night, and no one hears him - and he needs something?

I know that he is fine....but the fact of the matter is that I'm not there.  So I am reminded that this worried feeling I am experiencing is the same that my mom had for me, and her mom for her....and most importantly the worry and care that my heavenly Father has for me.  Which then leads me to remember this: "give all your worries and care to God, for he cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7. 

So, at the end of the day....I have to just....LET. IT. GO.

May 1, 2011

A day for the history books, indeed.  While so many are celebrating and elated with the news, I sit in our family room feeling so conflicted and with a burdened heart.

I got a text message from my sister to turn on the news at 11:26 p.m. (EST) on Sunday evening.  It was then that I learned of the news that US found, captured and killed Osama bin Laden in a firefight in Pakistan.  This is indeed justice for all the families of those that were wounded and killed in the brutal attack against our country on September 11, 2001 - nearly 10 years ago. 

However, I am shocked as a I read facebook posts, twitter feeds and listen to conversations and comments on TV about how they are overjoyed and celebrating his death.  T-shirts being sold, pictures of the death being shared, people drinking and breaking bread over this.  "Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles" (Proverbs 24:17).  I fear that this is yet another attack from the enemy tearing apart our country.  At a time when we should be standing united, divided we are ever more.

Comments that I heard/read range from discounting President Obama's efforts, giving all the credit to President Bush, how nice it is to have a president who can speak intelligently, how this will secure Obama's second term, how Bush should have gotten this done, and more.  It saddens me that this moment in history can't be what it is - justice for families in our country who will forever look at the empty chair at the dinner table or the daughter who will never know her mother or father.  Why does it have to be about tearing someone down or whether you are right or left on the political pedulum? 

I do not claim to perfect.  I do not always choose the right path.  It is a challenge every day to love my enemy.  I am not judging.  I am merely saying personally, I choose Christ and I try every day to be more Christ-like.  I may fail everyday, but I will keep trying.  We cannot blame those who aren't followers for they do not know. 

I remember this day as history to share with Max....a day of gratitude for our soliders, everlasting thanks for this great nation, appreciation to all those who serve our country (including ALL presidents) and a day of hope - hope that someday we will be the UNITED States of this great America. 

"Let us remember that we can do these things not just because of wealth or power, but because of who we are: one nation, under GOD, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.  Thank you. May GOD bless you. And may GOD bless the United States of America"
- President Obama, May 1, 2011