Feeling Defeated....

It is 9:30 a.m. and my precious one-year old son is already back in his crib.  Why you ask?  Well, let's just say it is due to an extraordinary amount of FITS this morning.  He literally was throwing his head against cabinets, the hardwood floors and just screaming.

I admit it, my heart is hurting and I feel defeated.  It is so frustrating to not be able to ask him "why are you screaming".  Or, "what can I do".  Or, "are you hurting somewhere".  It is MOST frustrating to feel like my efforts to "reason" with him are failed efforts.  I. AM. FRUSTRATED. 

I was so excited for a full day of playing and enjoy mommy and max time.....and what an awesome way to start the day.  I find myself in this new position where I have to discipline him, and am feeling like I am not good at it. Actually am feeling like I'm terrible at it. Disciplining is so hard.

One of my biggest fears is that Max wil grow up to be selfish or disrepectful because I didn't know how to discipline him from the beginning.

I need wisdom.....but mostly, I need courage. 

::BROKENHEARTED::